My daughter will turn two years old next month – and yet I have already researching primary schools for her. Yup, that’s right even though she has barely discovered crayons and the mono syllabic book characters I may be too late to get her into “the right” kindergarten. I don’t even know what type of learner this little evolving human is and yet I am already seeking to categorize her. Am I expanding her horizons – or limiting her potential? Am I nuts or just another mother on the Westside of Los Angeles? I think that it is “D” all of the above.
I want to do all that I can to help my little one be all that she can be – but what is that and how will I know that I am creating an environment suitable to her individual potential? I can’t. And yet even my skeptical self is subject to the sales pitches and advice that are hurled at all of us starting in pregnancy. I doubt that it ever ends, even after a kid graduates super-cum laude from a top university. Does all of this developmental knowledge actually make us better parents? Does it make our children better learners, citizens, more sentient beings? Or, do we know just enough to be dangerous to ourselves and our families?
Children are born adventurers and scientists until we “because I said so” it out of them. Ever since I filled out her birth certificate, I’ve been narrowing the definition of who my child is. She is a female named C – the rest is really up to the genes we contributed and our ability not to screw up her innate talents. Hopefully, we can create environments where they can explore who they are and where they fit in the world in relative safety. But remember, no matter what we do, our kids are separate beings and so our control over who they become is limited. If we are lucky they will develop in ways that we only dared to dream of and in the process teach us about ourselves. And if we aren’t lucky, we will have stretch marks, dark circles under our eyes and credit card debt for nothing so we better find the good in ‘em.
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